James Curtis

First of all, I’d like to start off by apologizing for not posting very much lately. With exams finally behind me and having a second to calm down, I think I can finally start up again though. I was going to sit down and write something about how high school isn’t really what holds our greatest years. About how our greatest years are to come later in life. Where we get to grow old and die and go be with our Lord. However, I quickly realized that I’d be pretty much talking out of my butt on account of I’m only seventeen. So here it comes. This is my “Real talk” blog. I’ve never really done anything like this so bear with me. I’m going to try to…open up a little and share about my, personal, relationship with God. Here it comes:

Real talk:

1. I don’t try hard enough enough of the time. Although I have convinced myself that I have done all that I can for my Lord and Saviour, I stand before you a mere disappointment. Although I have convinced myself that I am trying my hardest, I stand before you a fool as well as a master of trickery (since I was on both sides.) And last but not least, Although I have convinced myself that I have a very close relationship with God, I often feel very distant. Not because He’s not there, because I’m not there for Him.

2. I often find myself wondering about God. What it will be like when I see Him, if I’m good enough to even get the chance to see him. I often wonder about the questions I will ask, if I will find myself able to speak. And I often wonder about how He will react to me. Will he throw His ever loving arms around me and let me know that He loves me, or will He let me know that although I sometimes fail to see the evilness in my soul, He never does.

3. School is really wearing me down. I’m very glad to get the break of Summer. I call myself a real believer in Christ. I often like to think I am a Christ follower and not just a Christian, but too often in school am I silent when I shouldn’t be. There are days when I feel as though I could shout at the top of my lungs about the love I have for God. There are days when I feel like all is right and like I don’t care about what happens to me for my beliefs. Unfortunately, however, there are days when I slouch down really low and keep my mouth shut. There are days when I get irritated too easily and don’t show the same result that Christ would in the situation. I don’t want to be a “Part time Christian” but, unfortunately, I am sometimes.

4. I don’t give enough time to God. My schedule gets busy, true, but never will it be too busy to excuse setting apart some time for God. I tend to do this thing where I excuse myself from setting apart time for God since I am with church friends so much. I often fail to realize that the most important thing in your relationship with God is your PERSONAL relationship with God. You can never fulfill the duties of the personal relationship in a group setting.

I made this list for a couple of reasons:

1. I need to admit these things sometimes so I can work my way off of my high horse. I often feel like since I do believe strongly in God, I am better than everyone else. Although I know this is VERY false, I often find it hard to cope with the fact that I’m no better than the kids going out and parting every night.

2. It’s only fair that if I’m doing blogs about your relationship with God that I admit that I’m just as lost as everyone else. This blog is about things that pop in to my mind almost at the exact moment I’m writing them. Not things I’ve had the virtue of knowing for years.

3. I want to establish the fact that I have the same struggles as anyone else out there. I still find it hard to commit to some of the things that I even write.

So there it is. That’s my “real talk.” Thank you for reading it. God bless.